Syndy who?

Indi's started a thread about whether I ought to be removed from Kottu. Desyndicated is the term I think.

I think I'm going to give quizmaster Mendis Mudalali a blowjob so he can do the same to his buddy Sophist so he can in turn plead to Indi on my behalf while Indi's taking it in the ass behind Clancy's next Monday night.

Methinks that little tart Indi's been carryin' on with for some time has been leading to some brainrot for the brother. What with all the creeping into the bushes in Mount and all that, Indi's been having a few extra grey cells killed these past few weeks.

By the way, that accident Indi had, remember how he said he was hit on a blind spot on Galle Road? For chrissake everyone knows you were coming out of Barefoot, and as far as I know, there are no 'blind spots' on Galle road till about Wadduwa! Blindspot my ass. We know what you were upto you child molestor (giggle giggle). It's that smile isn't it that gets you?
Getting back to the point, admit it boys. Everyone loves this blog. Why the fuck have you been talking about it all week? Because every one of you hates something about someone else. But because you want to be nice, you don't say anything. That makes you a wimp. I believe in saying what I have to say. And you know most of you agree with most of what I'm saying.

Why don't you ask yourselves the critical question. Why do you come here?

I am a troll, but this is my cave. I don't come to your blog and leave comments to harass you. You come here to my cave and call me a troll. If you don't like what I write you can stay away, but you don't because you like what I write about other people. If you're a sucker for punishment there's nothing I can do about it right?

The fact that those who wander here keep coming back is only a justification of Pada Show. If you stopped coming here, I would go away. But you can't stop. You're dying to know what I've said about the other losers, not realising that you're exposing yourself in the process.
Padashow, proud to be the most innovative thing in the Sri Lankan Blogosphere since Kottu!

Dream On

Does anyone know why that bottle-bottom-spectacle-wearing-(t)homian Scourge has the lion flag on his blog? Has he ever explained this? And why does he put a spec-less half face on the banner? Everyone knows you're a four-eyed freak. Wo do you think you're going to fool by misrepresenting yourself on your blog?

I found this jewel of a post that Scourge had done some time back. It's about a dream, he had where he thought he was in school with the President. Being the jobless person that I am, I read the whole thing twice! Frankly I don't give a toss about scourge's dream. But I spied the name Mahinda (Rajapakse) and I was just a little curious as to why our friend isdreaming about a 60 year old (ugly) man. It must be a (t)homian thing.
Why, you may ask, did I read it twice? Well, because I just couldn't figure out scourge's confusing psudeo-intelligent prose.Someone really needs to teach this guy a thing or two about sentence structure etc.

But wait, here's the icing on the cake. How can we blame Scourge for wasting our time when losers like stingingnut actually comment on the post?

it's a entertaining dream. i forget most of mine when i get up.

Thank god for small favours. We already have enough losers blogging about their dreams, imagine what it would be like if stingingnut began blogging about all his dreams?

That my friends, is a rather frightening prospect.

Dim and Dimmer

Dim-ithri seems annoyed by what I wrote, so let me take another shot this boy with the tiny prick and huge attitude problem.

Let us look at something he wrote a while back. This post was about how he and his neanderthal relatives constantly beat people senseless.

Sometimes during family get-togethers we sit at the table and talk about our grandfathers and great grandfathers and the lives they led, I know that my dead grandfather was quite the thug and had a nice wide arrary of tools required by the trade

Seems he comes from a family of men with tiny pricks who need to use their fists. But here's the difference, while the other men in his family have been violent assholes, Dim here is a really docile guy, and the only way in which he can redeem himself from his ponna-ness is to boast about things on his blog. Things he's never done.

Ask anyone who was with this loser at St Joes and they'll tell you exactly what a punching bag he was.On the blog he claims he played rugby and is 'formerly athletic', but we know for sure that the only time the athletic team paid him any attention was when he was on his knees giving them blowjobs behind the chapel.

Having personally seen this boy have the shit kicked out of him on one occasion, one thing I know for sure is that he can't fight. So what does he do? He throws a few punches at some poor guy who's already had the shit kicked out of him and then blogs about it like he's some kinda hero. Once his neanderthal family have almost killed a defenseless man, Dim stands back to relish the scene.

everyone watched as the brick came and broke across assholes face, he slumped to the ground and made weird groaning noises

I think Dim had an orgasm at that point. In his post he even calls it 'the climax'. This little psycho-wannabe probably thinks about all the blood when he jerks off. The way in which Dim smacks his lips about the torture reminds one of none other than hannibal Lecter. It's really not that difficult to see Dim cutting up someone and cooking them.

But right now Dim is not as violent as he would eventually like to be. He's just a wannabe. So why does he make all this stuff up? Simple. He's under the impression that one of these days the coolness of his blog is going to get him laid. Poor pathetic social misfit doesn't seem to realise that while women stay away from ponnayas, they stay even further away from unstable, violent maniacs.

So, as long as Dim continues to boast about and be proud of:
a) coming from a family of neanderthals
b) being a neanderthal

things are just going to get dimmer for him.

Sorry boy. You're just going to have to take your club and walk over to the next cave and clobber your neighbour's bitch! You know the drill right? Learn from your dad. That's how he found your ma.

Short Dark Wannabe

I like Dim-ithri Perera’s blog because it’s a good example of how someone with a serious inferiority complex can get an ego boost for themselves online.

Normally when a guy has a tiny dick he goes online and orders some penis growth stuff. Dim seems to have gotten online for that reason and somehow wondered over to blogger and started a blog. It seems to serve the purpose, since the only action he’s getting these days is with his right hand which doesn’t really care how inadequately hung he is. But he’s going to have some trouble if he does ever run into some frustrated girl who’s going to actually be interested in doing him. Then my dear friend your ‘virtual’ penis enlragement a.k.a. blog is not going to impress her very much.

I suggest you Google ‘penis enlargement’ soon.

This little fucker likes to blog about a lot of things he’s never done. Like play rugby. He never played rugby, he got played rugby with! He was just the right size for the pigskin! Well I might be wrong, he might have played for that lesser known club the Pamankada Ponnayas. I think he got a slot in that team after being kicked out of the Saranankara Soththiyas. Hey Dim wanna write about that?
And what’s with the tag on this loser’s blog?

In some lost Eden where dragons ruled, the foundations of our intelligence were laid…

Huh? Turned a few free tricks for Tolkien? Going through your blog, what’s clear is that neither the foundations of your intelligence, nor you yourself, have ever been laid.

Divine Secrets of the Waa-Waa Sisterhood

Legend has it that stingingnut once stalked electra. Some flowers were sent to the Bishop's College Auditorium and something like that.

Stingingnut what're you? A sucker for punishment? I mean for chirissake all you have to do is read this chick's blog and you know she's the type that wants to talk about nothing but her innermost feelings. Save me oh lord from that type.

Stingingnut: Hey electra, can we make out now?
Electra: Wait. I want to talk about what I feel about it.
Stingingnut: I'd like to feel you too (giggle giggle)
Electra: Filthy pervert! You're disrespecting my delicate emotions.
Stingingnut: Aaaargh! (ignores)
Electra: (screaming) You have to listen! My feelings are IMPORTANT! (pulls out a ladies model handgun and pumps a round into stingingnut's stinging nuts, which stop stinging)

You want a lifetime of that stingingnut?

Not only does this chick behave very very badly (in her own opinion), but then she thinks by acting all guilty and confessing on her blog she's going to make everything ok. Oh hell! When I see the other sistah's who join her weeping I'm deeply moved (my bowels actually). Electra's blog is like the meeting place of the linda langa sangamaya (I refuse to translate). The tag should read: Come hither if you like to be emotionally crippled by a woman with a severe hormone related problem.

Someone needs to tell this chick (and all those hanger's-on she's got) that the blogosphere is not a confessional booth and that other bloggers are not going to be able to save you from your sins.

Electra and yo sistahs need to get some action soon.

Day-tripped Over Trazy’s Blog

Padashow welcomes our first trashing of Sri Lanka’s very own favourite muppet show character!

Who’re we talking about? It’s none other than keep-me-off-the-stage-for-theatre’s-sake MISS PIGGY! Daytripper, Tracy Holsinger. I wasn’t going to trash her here for some time, but by jumping to Nazreen’s defence she’s accelerated her own trashing. And just for the record let’s see how long it takes Naz to jump to your defence, if she takes the time to.

Not only do we have to watch/listen to Tracy’s lame attempts at theatre, but now, we also have to put up with her silly blog where she talks about making those stupid plays. Anyways, even if I was going to go watch one of your plays because I had absolutely nothing better to do, one look at your blog and I’m going to go down to Beira lake and catch dead fish instead for timepass. We’re not going to watch them anyway. So what makes you think we’re interested in how you make them? You might as well take a walk to the Perera and Sons up the road and stuff yourself with some chocolate cake and Milo. I wonder what it feels like to know that the best thing you ever did was performed at a now non-existent nightclub called Legends.

To be honest, Tracy is not the worst theatre director in Colombo. Feroze is far far worse. Tracy’s also not the worst actress. Nimmi beats her to that. So, overall, Tracy girl, you’re just second best, even when it comes to being the worst.

ask any theatre company in the city and they’ll tell you that like love, the course of play production never runs smooth. my shows are no different.

Yes Miss Piggy, we know your shows are no different, and when you do eventually get discovered…

But Tracy’s been trying so hard to be the worst at something, and Padashow believes she’s finally succeeded. Here’s to Tracy’s blog, Daytripper, the worst one maintained by someone who should be an adult and should have a life.